How taking care of the mother along with your child is part of being a father

  • By Team TDO

Nobody ever said being father is an easy job. The entire term of her pregnancy must have been such a high point in your life. The baby gave you 9 months to prepare yourself to play the new role of 'Daddy' and waiting for the little one to make its grand appearance must have been sheer heaven.

Then slowly there was trouble in paradise and it came in the form of learning how to hush a wailing baby; soothing tired wife and changing stinky nappies etc. And that's probably just telling half of your woes. The exhilaration must have undoubtedly worn thin by now, replaced by a sense of responsibility and a wee bit of apprehension of what else will you be called upon in the discharge of your duties as 'Daddy'.

We are sure you agree that being 'Daddy' is to be experienced and not something that you can learn off a manual or guide. This is just to tell you that right now all your attention must be focused on the little one's safety, comfort and security and if your wife is on maternity leave, it will mean you are going to be a single income house for the next year at least.

Yes' you want to help around the house like most new age fathers-help with nappy changing, lullaby singing, toy selecting, nursery building, funny face practice etc.

Whew! And balancing that with work schedules can be quite a herculean task. So, in this changing equation where do you really stand? And how do you deal with it?

Winning her over once again

A new arrival is the best time for you to bond with your wife and get the best out of life. Sure now you will be competing with your baby for your wife's attention but then that's half the fun isn't it? You might feel ignored as the focus changes to the little one but then that's what team spirit is all about. Appreciate her at every given opportunity and thank your stars you were spared the labor pains!! You could have a checklist of activities that you can help out with. This will keep you within sight and you will still be the 'apple of her eye' along with the junior.

Low Libido woes

Upto a year after delivering a child a woman could experience low sex drive due to postnatal hormonal changes. It is only natural. So don't take it personally if her interest in sex has waned. She is going to be an emotional live wire as child birth can be a profoundly moving experience. This is the time when you can build intimacy rather then insist on intercourse. Touching, kissing, cuddling and emotional bonding is what she will respond to readily and that's what you should try to do as much as possible. Of course, she will be back to normal in a few months and you can resume your sex life, albeit a little silently as you would end up waking the junior and that will be the end of that!

Being Gentle and Caring

If you have never been able to express your tender side now is the time. Most men use their masculinity as an excuse to not show their emotions. You can learn from the free flow of emotions between mother and child and just dive headlong into this pool of sheer feeling. You will certainly be a better person for it. Strangely enough this will start having a positive effect on everything right from work to the way you think to the way you connect with yourself.