Habits that can hurt your marriage

  • By Team TDO

Marriage! That blessed union of souls which is a unique and delightful experience if "all goes well" or can be a complete sham and disaster if the wrong set of people enter in it, for all the wrong reasons. Marriage isn’t only about exchanging marriage vows and sharing the same bed. It goes way beyond the mere symbolism to mean something much greater than just societal acceptance for a couple to legitimately have sex with each other.

There have been instances where many an unsuspecting love boat charting its course through seemingly serene waters of matrimony, suddenly finds itself getting tossed about and sucked in to the eddy of lies and deceit. And not before long, we see the flotsam of a shipwrecked marriage pass us by, reminding us of the many perils and ‘Marry-time’ disasters that certain habits can bring about.

As a man, here are few things to watch out for those vicious rocks that you have to maneuver past, and certain things that you need to steer clear of, if you really want your marriage to safely reach the shores of bliss and felicity.

Man is but a creature of habit.

Marriage is all about making those welcome changes. Some men might have to actually set reminders to wake up to the fact that they are married. Or, for that matter, be available even for a spontaneous weekend binge or other mad capers that they might have indulged in while they were single. It could be just as simple a matter as tidying up the room or leaving the toilet seat up and unsoiled.

If you want your marriage to really go smooth then make sure you make a list of all your hurtful habits and then see to it that you change them for good. As the saying goes - give a bad habit an inch and it can take away your wife's smile.

All about half-truths and bare faced lies.

If the truth were to be told, a million marriages would probably collapse instantly. That's why most men choose not to tell the truth where it matters the most - in their marriage. One can’t really be judgmental about that as it depends entirely on what the man was trying to conceal from his wife.

Truth is that marriage is founded on the delicate foundations of trust and faith, and a single lie can spoil this forever. So where it concerns both of you, try and be as truthful as you can to the relationship. Your wife will appreciate a truth in time rather than the truth 10 years down the line. Stick to the truth, but leave immediately after!

Ignoring her?

Some men are so self-absorbed that everyone else may as well be part of the furniture. Imagine their poor wives who have to compete with her husband’s narcissistic self, for love and affection which should be rightfully coming her way. Some men probably don’t realize it, but they are well on their way to earn themselves a 'crashing bore male' award. There will be a time when your self-absorption might put your relationship in grave danger. So try and see things from your wife's angle.

Try and be interested in the things she does and likes. Try and indulge in some joint hobbies together. Well, if knitting socks isn't exactly your idea of a shared hobby, how about learning to whip up some recipes like she does? There must be at least one thing that she likes that you can be half interested to learn.

Talking about intimate things in public.

This isn't about PDA or public display of affection. We are sure a lot of wives probably won't mind their husbands at least nudging them in public. This is about you talking something about your wife which she considers private or intimate. Sometimes men can be insensitive and be vocal about their wives’ faults in public. This can wreck a marriage faster than you can say 'iceberg' or 'Titanic,' so remember – praise her in public and talk about her mother’s nasty nose picking in private.

Well, regarding PDA - if you treat your wife as a trophy, then yes, you will want to show her off and flaunt her. So stick within the limits that she sets and a bit of public display of affection can actually help you bond.

Talking about things that are important to her in a light-hearted manner.

Some men sound pompous and patronizing about anything that their wives do that they don’t give the required importance or the respect that her activities deserve. This can cause a major rift in the relationship.

Putting off important things concerning her.

So she has been complaining of nausea all week. The doctor has asked her to run some tests and you promised to go with her to the lab to get those done last week. Then your big presentation came up and then you went fishing with Bobby. She quietly went all by herself as she was almost afraid to ask you. Sure, you have work to complete, deadlines to meet, but give her a definite date or day when it would be possible to do something that she wants to do with you. “Another time,” “not now” are just not good enough for marital bliss.

Financial risks which could ruin her health.

Sure you do everything for her happiness, but does that give you the right to put the very happiness at stake by taking wild financial risks or indulging in speculation out of the money from your joint account? Some men don’t feel the slightest regret in taking a dip into the joint account for seeing a stock tip through. Marriage is a partnership and your decisions definitely have a bearing on her life as well.

So, not keeping your wife informed about any investments or business activities might just cause a lot of resentment or bitterness. Maybe she doesn't understand finance quite like you do, but help her know just exactly what you were doing and be truthful about the repercussions or the risks involved.

Let only your wife be a hard habit to break. Ditch the rest of your habits as that might be the very iceberg which might sink your Titanic.