Tips to be more confident with women

  • By Sahana Rajan

There are differences in degrees of confidence, ranging from the presence of excessive confidence (cocky) to the altogether lack of it (feeble). Your aim is to hold a balance. The projection of a balanced level of confidence towards the woman will show on one hand that you are well-aware of your capacities and have the ability to take decisions and on the other hand that she can trust and take the risk of being completely honest with you since you would take into consideration her needs while making decisions. The four categories of skills you need to exhibit such a level of confidence are:

Did you know that most of the communication that occurs during dating is non-verbal such that over 55% of the women feel that they receive the first impressions of men through their body language and appearance?

  1. Dressing Style: You have already introduced yourself through your clothing. It is your first self-statement. For this reason, you have to ensure that you are dressed in a way that is not too formal, neither causal to the level that it falls into being shoddy. Here are three tips to dress and feel the confidence in you:

    Comfortable dressing: Make sure you are wearing clothes which make you feel comfortable. A uniform fashion style should be chosen for the entire clothing. Also add a simple accessory which will manifest who you are: A catchy belt or an interesting watch.

    Facial hair: The amount of shabby hair on your face is directly proportional to the impression of carelessness. Trimming your moustache, beard, and goatee and cleanly putting it together will show that you are a man who can take good care of your body.

    Bodily aesthetics: Fingernails should be cut and any hair growing on the ears and nose must be trimmed. Also wash your hair. In case you habitually style your hair in a certain manner, then do so. Make sure you do not make any drastic changes in the hair style in an effort to impress a woman. The donning of a completely new style could put you in an uncertain territory, plummeting your confidence.

  2. Communication skills: Once you have got through to her as a responsible and balanced person through clothing, the next category of exhibition of confidence is through your communication. Here are three tips to show your confidence verbally:

    Talking slowly: When you are tense, the speed of talking radically increases and manifests your anxiety easily. So, make sure you reduce the speed of your talk by at least 40 percent.

    Composure: Think before you speak. Do not be in a hurry to say something just to impress a woman. Remember that if a possibility of being with her in a long-term relation exists, then this meeting is a trailer of who you are. So, speak calmly and think about every word you are putting into your sentences.

    Avoid digression: Digressing from one topic to another can show that you are nervous or trying to hide something. Make sure you go through a topic of concern with depth and shift to another topic when you feel that the scope of discussion has exhausted. Also, do not simply continue talking to fill in the silence. A certain amount of silence is good for initial meetings - it can increase the comfort level.

  3. Body Language: The two above categories are coordinated and manifested authentically through the following three skills of your body. If your body is saying that you are nervous, then your clothing and what you say will not matter. Here are three skills to display a confident person through your body:

    Genuine smile: During the conversation, the add-on of a genuine smile and laugh will help to put a woman at ease. However, do not let your smile/laugh become a ‘horror express’ by being too meek or extremely large and thus, creepy.

    Eye contact: Your eyes are like windows into a house. Holding a steady eye contact is a sign of interest and care. If you have wandering eyes while conversing, it will shout disinterest and inconsideration.
    Breathe: While speaking, remember to take a pause and breathe. This will help you to bring together your thoughts and put them into words in a better way.

    Posture: Stand up straight, letting your shoulders backwards and lifting up your head. Those who slouch while conversing present themselves as being messy and timid.
    Holding your drink: To avoid having a wet hand-shake, hold your drink in the non-lead hand. This will also help you to keep your hands stable and avoid wriggling.

  4. Thought: The glue to all the above categories is your thought. The way you think will define how a woman sees you. Make sure you do not over-consider every sentence in the conversation and let the sentences flow from your outlook towards life.