Getting Married : The 5 things every man should know about sex
- By Sanjay Akolkar
So let us turn to the exciting part that your mind must be dwelling on right now- "bliss in the conjugal bed!" Heard it from a much-married man the other day – "Son, keep the bed fire stoked nice-n-bright and soon you will find marriage to be even somewhat bearable!" We even gleaned 5 important tips on how to set the marriage bed on fire for you. Use it and prosper.
- Marriage is a covenant for two.
Marriage is a great institution for two people to come together in discharge of their social obligations. So, as a man you have to remember it is a holy union and not a license for 'sex on demand!' Men often overlook other aspects of a woman other than the immediately visible ones. If you are serving your life sentence and if you intend to do so in just one prison (wife) then you must take it slowly and respect her needs too. It’s all very well to want sex all the time, but can be a wee bit frustrating for the woman if she prefers conversation. This might not be strictly true, so find out what her urges are before you go all demanding on her.
- Women connect emotionally men connect visually.
Yes, you have heard of the 'women are from Venus and men from Mars' thing haven't you? Women take a little longer to get turned on and therein lies the key to unending pleasure. So a lot of foreplay, good scents, and some sweet talk are the keys to set her juices flowing. Men tend to react more to visual stimulus and hence are quick to get aroused and even quicker to finish the act. Sometimes this causes great despair to the poor wife, who, to add insult to the injury, now has a husband all rolled up and snoring away. Therefore, remember- sex is a union between two, so try and keep pace with the other and understand her rhythms.
- Dirty Harriet!
Every man likes to think of himself as God's gift to his woman. Only if the truth be known, men would be a little more sensitive. Your lady might get turned on by things that your male radar hasn’t quite picked up. Maybe she likes to be touched in certain ways. Maybe something else floats her boat. How are you going to know? She might not open up to you lest you think uncomplimentary things about her. So what gives only men the right to think, feel and be dirty? Maybe she has some erotic fantasies that have been playing out in her mind. So gently encourage her by not being judgmental. Use your instinct and ask if she would like to try something unusual or phrase it cleverly like – "Hey darling!, know what Tom just told me? His wife likes to do xxxx and was just wondering of all women like that?" Now that’s a trap and either ways you turn out winners, as you will know what even the Gods are dying to find out- the secret to the female orgasm!
- Make time for making out.
Eventually you are going to run out of ideas to be creative in bed and either you will prefer masturbation or make excuses not to make your bedtimes coincide. Time indeed plays spoilsport, as it corrupts everything, including your sexual desire. There will come a time when sex will be predictable and boring. Before it gets to that, you ought to explore your sexual selves to the core. Doing things together is important here. So think of sex in different places, add a bit of role play, and exchange fetish notes to prolong your sexual pleasure. We may not have multiple personalities and be different people, but sometimes a little bit of sexual adventure with the wife won’t be such a bad idea.
- When love's pledge wanes, it's time to be friends.
Marriage will have its fair share of ups and downs, remember that. Sometimes you are going to be her man Friday, and at others, she is going to complain about your garlic breath. Yes, it's tough to be a consistently good lover. Agreed! But it is easier to be your girl's best friend! Be her daddy-brother-lover-little boy companion and friend and you will see that even her touch can be a turn on for you after many years. Sex will always be a great experience if a couple relates to each other as friends and have an intimate bond. For some men this comes naturally, while others have to give it a fair shot. Remember this if you want the best out of your marriage- be a friend and a lover to your wife and then be her husband.