Faking it in the bedroom - Do women have fake orgasms?

  • By Sahana Rajan

When you pretend to have an orgasm without experiencing it in reality, then such an act would be called a fake orgasm. Someone who is faking an orgasm will act out or simulate ways to show you that they are enjoying the sexual act. This can be done through bodily motions, vocalizations, and there could be a sequence of seeming presence of intense sexual pleasure and the apparent release which is called orgasm. Did you know that about 50% of women confessed that they had faked orgasm at least once?

Symptoms of a Fake Orgasm: There can be many signs which show that she has not really reached an orgasm and is faking the act - there could be orchestrated moaning and the noises will not be in rhythm with the sexual act. You could also feel the loosening up of the PC muscle grasping your penis in frequent intervals. The PC muscles are a set of muscles which expand from the pubic to the tail bone. This muscle regulates flow of the urine and also contracts during orgasms. You could also find that her breathing pattern suddenly changes from high to normal after reaching the fake orgasm.

The Disguised Orgasms: Simply because your woman might have some of these symptoms does not mean that she is faking the orgasm necessarily. Different women have varying ways of reaching the zenith of sexual pleasure. They might have even habituated some of these symptoms as accompanying the normal orgasm like the vocalizations. So, make sure you observe carefully for a long time (at least 5 to 6 weeks) before you talk to your partner and confirm her feelings about your sex life.

Did you know that over 30% of the women find it difficult to reach an orgasm? Moreover, a higher number of women have great discomfort in experiencing an orgasm during vaginal intercourse alone. If you are suffering from this condition, then remember that you are not alone and look for ways to communicate and ease the problem.

Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? Remember that faking an orgasm does not mean that she does not love you or that she hates the sex life. There are a lot of grey areas between the black mark on your sex life and the white light of her love. Explore why she might not be reaching an orgasm. Here are some reasons why your partner might be experiencing fake orgasms:

Reason 1 : She Has Never Had An Orgasm Before
You might be shocked to know that many women have never experienced an orgasm. So, when they are having sex, they are guessing which part of the sex actually represents an orgasm. Learn to walk with your partner step-by-step, talk to her about sex and then, give her time to know the ways in which she would feel more aroused. This will allow her to know the orgasm wholly.

Reason 2 : Soreness in the Vaginal Region
A majority of the cases of fake orgasms has often to do with soreness in vaginal area. She might get dry real quickly and this has nothing to do with the stimulation provided. Some women suffer from dry vagina, and if your partner’s does, try to find ways in which you can lubricate the region and make her feel comfortable.

Reason 3 : Protecting Your Ego
One of the clients who regularly visited gynecologist Dr. Anna Johnson felt that by telling her husband about the mistakes he is making during sex which are obstructing her from reaching an orgasm, she would be hurting his ego as a lover. It is extremely important for couples to understand each other's situation and talk about ways in which the people involved can be at ease and joy during the act.

Reason 4: Overemphasis on Orgasm
Be aware that some days, your woman might have a multi-orgasmic sex while the next day, she might have none. This could be due to many factors like stress, fatigue, and others. So, make sure you do not see orgasm as the be all and end all of sexual activity and force her to reach an orgasm. Take it slow and let her enjoy it at her pace. What matters in the end is that you both enjoy, no matter which stage either of you reach. If the problem of not having an orgasm persists for a long time, then communicate about it to her and find a resolution.

Remember that the emotional relationship between your partner and you will be the basis of the physical relationship as well. If you have had a fight or a heated argument about something, then make sure you both communicate well and resolve it.

Realizing Actual Orgasms: There is no treatment for fake orgasms and the only way to ensure that your partner enjoys the sexual act is through communication and consequent changes in the act. Here are four prime aspects of dealing with problem of fake orgasms:

Way 1 : Know The Body
Become aware of the body regions in a female which will stimulate her sexually. This will allow you to explore your partner's body and know the potential regions of stimulation. These generally include neck, thighs, and nipple region. You should gradually get to know your partner's body and her regions of stimulation.

Way 2 : Preserve Strong Communication
Maintain an understanding approach to the problem and don't try to interpret her sexual condition by your preconceived notions. Talk to your partner and get to know what she feels about it and ways in which she would like to deal with it.

Way 3 : Lubricants and Toys
Many women get aroused by different things. Maybe it is time to bring the kink back to the bed. Talk to her and know ways which would make her sexually stimulated. For women who suffer from dry vagina, lubricants should be used. Toys like vibrators may help stimulate arousal of feelings.

Way 4 : Do Not Pressurize
Lastly, make sure you do not pressurize your partner to reach an orgasm. The act of overemphasizing on the particular event of orgasm can also ruin any form of physical intimacy you both might share. Talk to your partner and gradually understand the conflicts which might be causing a failed orgasm.